People Are Wired Differently: Decoding DiSC with E.G. Sebastian | Ep. 18

What if the colleague who drives you crazy is actually the person you need the most?

In this eye-opening conversation, communication expert and Certified DISC® Facilitator E.G. Sebastian reveals how understanding personality differences through DISC can transform workplace relationships and dramatically reduce conflict. With over 20 years of experience inspiring 500+ audiences worldwide, E.G. breaks down the four primary styles and shows how they impact teamwork, leadership, and communication.

✅ Dominance (D): fast-paced, task-oriented, decisive—but sometimes too blunt
✅ Influence (I): energetic, people-focused, inspiring—but may overlook details
✅ Steadiness (S): supportive, loyal, steady—but can resist change
✅ Conscientiousness (C): precise, analytical, quality-driven—but may overanalyze

You’ll learn how to spot each style, flex your own communication to connect better, and see why the traits that frustrate us most in others are often the very strengths our teams need.

Whether you’re a leader building balanced teams or simply trying to get along better at work, this episode gives you practical tools to reduce conflict, boost collaboration, and appreciate the unique wiring of your colleagues.

Want to go deeper with what we covered in this episode?

Here are a few next steps to keep learning:

• Get Sebastian’s book, Communication Skills Magic – Chapter 3 explains the DiSC Model in detail, while Chapters 4–7 break down each style: what motivates them, their fears, how to avoid conflict, how to build stronger relationships, and more. Grab the free digital version here: https://communicationskillsmagic.com/free-download
• Join one of Sebastian’s free upcoming webinars – Live, interactive sessions to help you sharpen your people-reading and communication skills: https://communicationskillsmagic.com/future-events

Remember: DiSC is not about judging or putting people in boxes. It’s about understanding natural tendencies, improving communication, and strengthening relationships at work and in life.

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Workplace Conflict
• 9:14 Understanding DISC Personality Assessment
• 14:28 The Four DISC Personality Styles
• 30:20 Strengths and Challenges of Each Style
• 38:02 Navigating Conflicts Between Different Styles
• 42:45 Practical Application in the Workplace

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Why can't people get along at work? It's a question every person has asked at some point in their careers. Today I'm sitting down with someone who has the answers. E.G. Sebastian is a strategic communication consultant, a certified disc facilitator, and the author of Communication Skills Magic. He's inspired over 500 audiences worldwide, helping leaders and teams communicate better, work together, and actually get results that they need. In today's episode, we're breaking down disc DISC. What is it, why it matters, and how it can actually transform the way we connect at work. See you then. Welcome back to the Transparent Nature Podcast, where we bring real conversations to help you navigate your careers and workplace challenges. It's your host, Prince Tate, and I want to personally thank you for listening to the podcast. Also, I want to give someone a shout out if you are listening to the podcast. What I want you to do is go to my YouTube channel, the Transparent HR Podcast, and leave a comment. And at the next episode, I will mention you. So if you want to get a shout out on the podcast, this is your opportunity. And also, while you're on there, don't forget to hit that subscribe button, share this episode with a friend who could benefit from us and leave us a review. Your support continues to help us to bring real insights that help you succeed in your career as well as within your workplace. I'm super excited for today's episode. You heard the intro. We have a very dynamic speaker with us. Not just a speaker, but he's a guest and have become my buddy on LinkedIn. His name is E.G. Sebastian. Welcome to the show. How are you today? Pretty good.

SPEAKER_01: 2:13

Thank you for the invitation. Longtime fan. Love your podcast. If this is your first time here, make sure to listen to the other episodes also. Really great, great stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 2:25

I appreciate you, man. I really do. And um, believe it or not, a lot of people don't realize that most of my guests, I find them on LinkedIn. Like we just connect, they have a story to share, they have something valuable to share, and bam, they're on my podcast. So thank you for connecting with me. Hey, but let's get into the episode. But before we do that, let me let me slow down a little bit. Where are you from?

SPEAKER_01: 2:58

Yes. People sometimes can't hear what I'm saying because they're wondering about the accent. I'm Hungarian. And then the other question people ask is, what do I call you? IG. Especially international people feel uncomfortable calling me I. My real name is Irvin, but I can't pronounce it. So people call me Herbie, Kermit, Eric. So 20 years ago, I simplified it. Nobody misunderstands it. And it's easy when you look for E.G. Sebastian, I was the only one for almost 20 years. Now there are two of us.

SPEAKER_00: 3:39

Awesome, awesome. So let's get into the episode. Man, I want to start off with this question. Why do you think it can be so hard for people to get along at work? What makes it so challenging that certain individuals, I mean, they just don't click. They they it it seems like every time they have a conversation, they're clashing. Tell us the answer to this mysterious problem.

SPEAKER_01: 4:10

That's an excellent question. And just just imagine going to work and not having difficult people around you. Just imagine getting along, collaborating, and achieving goals together. What happens is unfortunately is we have different personality styles or communication slash behavioral styles. And when you're not available, when you're not aware of those differences, conflict is guaranteed. You just won't understand why instantly some of your coworkers, and unfortunately, some of your family members, and this can be your child or spouse or parent, you just constantly butt heads because you don't understand. In my workshops, I often start with saying, like, how many of you believe it's great to live in a diverse world where everybody behaves, thinks differently? All hands go up. And then how many of you would like to live in a world where everybody behaves the same way, things the same way, no hand goes up? Then I put my hands on my hips and I say, You guys, you're a bunch of hypocrites. Because on one hand, you say you want diversity, diverse behaviors, diverse thinking. Right. But then when somebody thinks differently, behaves differently, you think they are difficult jackass or half labels, right? So when you learn about these differences, about 70 to 80 percent, perhaps for some people more, of your stress and difficult people just disappear in the workplace. So it's it's an amazing uh uh model, and that absolutely changed my life, made me a better parent, a better husband, and um and also a better manager.

SPEAKER_00: 5:55

Man, I love how you ask them that question because I was actually driving in my car. I always have random thoughts, right? Uh whether I'm leaving work, going to work, or going anywhere. And I was thinking, you know, diversity, right? Uh we talk about, oh, we want diversity, right? But then people don't realize that when you have diversified teams and organizations, you have a lot of people who think differently, who act differently. And in turn, it does make it more challenging to get work done because you have to spend a longer time, I would like to say, in some cases, debating with people, right? Why we should do this, why we shouldn't do this, you know, uh, you know, how do we cultivate uh your mindset with the other person's uh views and thoughts, and how do we merge them together and come to a solid foundation or a common ground? And when you're talking about getting along with people, one of the things you said is you have to be self-aware. You you have mentioned self-awareness, right? And so I think a lot of times, you know, in answering this question, why do why why is it so hard for people to get along at work? It's because we're different. And the sooner you realize we're different and that's okay, that's when you be good, and that's actually where uh emotional intelligence comes into play. Right? And so I think in terms of what we're about to discuss today, you know, disc, emotional intelligence, they have a lot to do with each other, right?

SPEAKER_01: 7:47

Let me just give you a bit of great news right now. That by the end of this episode, you will realize that the people that annoy you most are actually the people you will need most in your life because they have strength that complement yours. And because they are so different, that's why there's this setup for tension and difficult conversations between the two of you. But actually, when you realize that you are complementing each other, you will be more accepting and you will embrace and and appreciate that person. So it it has transformative powers. That's why 70 uh around 77% of Fortune 500 companies invest in disk training each and every year for the past few decades.

SPEAKER_00: 8:32

Wow, wow, man, you said a lot there. But you know, I I think about that statement of opposites attract, right?

SPEAKER_01: 8:41

And when they get together, they attack.

SPEAKER_00: 8:47

But um That's the story of me and my wife. Yeah, and and a lot of people, right? But anywho, uh let's dive into disk. What is disc uh from your expertise? Uh, what is it, and how does it actually help individuals and teams in the workplace?

SPEAKER_01: 9:08

So we are social beings. As humans, our happiness, our success depends on our relationships. Full stop. That's that's the main thing. Your communication skills, your people skills determine your success at work and in your personal life, everywhere. Yet most of us never invest in uh developing these skills. So this is a simple tool, I would say is the simplest tool on the market that helps you like in the Matrix. Those of you who watch The Matrix, when Neo starts seeing everything in code and the agents are shooting at him, he doesn't even have to dodge bullets anymore because he sees the code, he can just modify the code and he can just grab the bullet and just throw it away. So same disk does that in your relationship world. Instead of seeing difficult people, a nitpicky and an anal person or a verbose and why is she always so hyper? So like all of these different people that you see now as difficult, once you go through a disk training, you see them as different. People are not weird, they're just differently wired. And when you see that, then you appreciate each of these for their strength. Stress goes down, relationships improve. It's like four distinct languages. I mean, imagine you go to France and you try to speak to everybody in English. Some will understand you, many will not. Same in relationships. If I try to talk, before I knew my wife's style, we had conflict all the time. Luckily, I went through this 21 years ago. Transformed our marriage. Wow. So it's it's a very powerful tool.

SPEAKER_00: 11:00

So it's not just it's not just used in the workplace.

SPEAKER_01: 11:04

Absolutely not. I started up as a relationship coach, but it's very hard to get coaching clients. So I sold my soul and started doing corporate training, and I felt really bad. And then I when I did my first training, I realized, oh my God, how silly I am. These are people, they will take these concepts home. And I do most mostly full-day workshops, so I share personal stories as well. So all of those concepts that I share go home with them, and they will be better spouses, better parents, better in all their relationships.

SPEAKER_00: 11:42

Just better individuals, right? Absolutely. Better human beings. So so I I have this question. So why disc? There's a lot of person other personality um assessment tools. People mention Myers Brig. Um, there's Clifton Strength Finders, which may be a Anagram. Yeah. I mean, there's plenty of other callers, animals. Right. There's plenty of other why disc? Why does disc work so well?

SPEAKER_01: 12:13

And this is why you're a great podcast host because you ask great questions. I'm an assessment addict. Assessments. I took all of the assessments on the planet that I that I came across, anagram, Myers, Briggs, all of them. And I found value in each of them. Great value. Disk with a lowercase I and the R after it is the most validated, most research and validated model. All of the other ones have great value, also. But DISC is one of the few that helps you easily recognize the four different styles, not just yourself. Most of the other ones, they help you understand yourself and how to improve yourself. Disk, yes, it helps you understand yourself, which is very liberating. On my feedback forms, it comes up all the time. I have thousands of feedback forums where people say, thank you for helping me understand myself, that I'm not broken, that I'm not mentally challenged. All kinds of people wrote all kinds of things, but thank you for helping me understand me. But that's just a small part. The biggest part of this is helping you understand the other three styles and connect better, communicate better, and as a manager, motive motivate them more effectively, understand their fears, their strengths, their weaknesses, so you know where to put people.

SPEAKER_00: 13:44

Yeah. Wow. That's amazing. It just doesn't help you understand you and your personality, but it helps you to really connect with the other styles.

SPEAKER_01: 13:56

It's the key to your relationships. It's cracking the code to human connection.

SPEAKER_00: 14:01

Wow. That is really dynamic right there. Say that again.

SPEAKER_01: 14:07

It is the key to your relationships or cracking the code to human connection.

SPEAKER_00: 14:13

Wow, that is so deep. That is so deep. But you know what? Let's dive even deeper. So, what are the four different styles? The D, the I, the S, and of course the C. What are they? And what are some common strengths and challenges of each?

SPEAKER_01: 14:35

Before I tell you about the four styles, first I'll give you the key. Okay. So you easily recognize the four styles. Even if you don't know anything about them, you can easily recognize them. And then we will give you a link where you can get the cheat sheets on the tendencies of each style. I have I have 15 of these. Oh wow. And then this one is the general tendencies of each, like their main focus, what are driven by they can come across as under pressure, how they behave, everything about them. So very simple. And this is the power of this, the simplicity of it. There are only two criteria that you have to remember.

SPEAKER_02: 15:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 15:26

People are either fast-paced or moderate-paced. Easily observable. When you meet somebody and you talk to them, some people talk really fast, and some people talk really slowly, and maybe they smile. But they have and they they and the fast-paced people, so here is what you asked in the beginning about the conflict and the uneasiness. Like I'm a very fast-paced person. And when I talk to somebody who's like name, date of birth, address, and and anything that they ask, they they ask look in a really slow, and my chest like feels constricted, like, what's wrong with you? Chop, chop. Okay. Fast paced, moderate pace, too. Okay. So based on this knowledge already, you will know that fast-paced people, they take quicker decisions. They are decision makers right away. Moderate-paced people, they will think before they decide. They will research a little bit. They will perhaps discuss it with others. The fast-paced, they are more impulsive, they're more outspoken. The moderate-paced, they are more thoughtful, more reserved. They think before they speak. Like for me, that was like, wow, who thinks before they speak? It turns out that there are two personality styles. Interesting. They do. They think before they speak. So just this alone, understanding the pace of people, so these are tendencies that we gravitate towards. The fast-paced people can be very outspoken, but many of us we learn to tone it down. And I will say it now and I will say it again later. Hopefully, I will remember to say it later. That all our weaknesses perceived by others are a result of our strength pushed to the extremes. So the fast-paced, they are outspoken, right? But that can offend others. Also, we can over like we can talk over others, right? Bulldoze over others. So we have to tone it down and let the moderate-pace people also speak up. The moderate-pace people come across as hesitant because they think before they speak. Wow. So when you don't understand these differences, then but yeah, so these are natural tendencies. But again, all of the tendencies that I will speak about, you can flex. We call it flex.

SPEAKER_00: 18:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 18:03

Like when you talk to your child, for example, even though I'm fast-paced, when I talk to my seal my moderate-paced child, I will slow down a little bit. Because I know that if I'm talking so fast, he feels a little bit rushed and maybe even threatened. And in the workplace, too, it's very important, you know, like the way you are you are perceived based on these. So the fast-paced people can be perceived sometimes as insensitive and rushing. Like, why are you rushing? Why why what's you know? I need to the moderate-based people, they need to understand first um why they should do something. So they are they are more um so the fast-based they they love change. The moderate pace, they love steadiness, they love routine. Fast-based people dislike routine. So already this lets you read lots of things about people, general tendencies again. Then on the other axis, so we have a an X. We have an X. We have the vertical axis and the horizontal axis. On the horizontal axis, we have people focused versus task focused. And you will recognize usually people from people focused or test focused because the people focused, they smile. As soon as you approach them, they smile. I stand in line in a store, and somebody just turns around and right away we connecting, and and we tend to connect with people who are more like us, of course. Right. Yeah, let's say my wife gets there a little later and I'm in a big discussion with this guy, and my wife is like, Oh, you you it's your friend? Like, I'm like, no, we just met. But you know, somebody watching from outside, they think we've known each other forever. Now, this is not for every style, this is for the I will get to the influence style, the more people-oriented and fast-based. We are very open, very friendly. But yeah, so people-oriented people, they are more emotional, they they are more friendly, they tend to uh be more accepting, and um so just generally they are more more uh open. And and the task-oriented people, on the other hand, they are more cautious, they are more uh they love processes, they love to w work on tasks, numbers, concepts, uh clear goals. The people-oriented people, they are more collaborative, they love to work with people. The task-oriented people, they do well on their own. They often prefer working on their own, or if in a team, then work on some specific task-oriented um uh tasks. But that's why when you know this, you won't put in customer service the task-oriented people, and again, we can flex.

SPEAKER_00: 20:58

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01: 21:00

And and you won't have the people-oriented people work on details like Excel sheets and and all kinds of uh tasks that require great detail, great attention, and analytical thinking. So so when you understand these two X's, that's already when you um see some really clear behavioral tendencies.

SPEAKER_02: 21:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 21:26

When you recognize somebody, so here we go into the four styles, when you recognize that somebody is fast-paced and task-oriented, then you know that that's a dominance style. They can be, they they love to take charge, they are uh they are outspoken, they are blunt, they come across as blunt because their goal is to get things done so they don't spend too much time on chit chat, right? They actually they dislike that. Uh and again, when when you learn about this, you learn how to approach them, how to talk to them. I recently visited Coca-Cola, uh uh a Coca-Cola bottling plant, and each door they had a plaque that said, I'm a dominant style. When you come in, stick to the bottom line, don't waste my time with chit chat. So it gives for every style on the door, it says how to talk. You know, like the S style, when you come in, please smile, slow down a little, a little, and so it gives all these, so uh it it's uh yeah, it's powerful when it's applied on the job in in multiple ways.

SPEAKER_00: 22:31

Yeah, so let me ask you this um because I I want our listeners to kind of picture themselves into which category they're in, right? So just just really briefly, as you uh dive into them, what what what are the four styles?

SPEAKER_01: 22:50

So the four style, yeah, the dominance, influence, steadiness, and conscientiousness. Okay. And the beauty of attending a live event is we break up people, fast-paced people come to this side of the room, moderate-paced on that side. And then I will ask specific questions like how many of you like routine work? Well, the the moderate-paced hands will go up, the fast-paced hands will not go up. So they there's a visual to see how different we are, um, yet how predictably different we are, right? So, but yeah, so as as you have to identify am I more moderate-paced as I talk, as I move, as I bring decisions, or am I fast-paced? Am I more impulsive, bring quick decisions, more outspoken? And are you more people-oriented or task-oriented? So if you are people-oriented, uh people-oriented and fast-paced, then you're an influence style. Very personable, great verbal skills. They are the only style who can persuade you to something that even they don't believe in. So have to be careful. Again, strengths pushed to the extreme can become your weakness. They when when it's a if it's a sky high eye or influence, so we are all on a spectrum.

SPEAKER_00: 24:16

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01: 24:17

Actually, so this imagine this is a circle, and the more outside of the circle your dot is, your style, the more you display these behaviors. The closer to the center your dot is, when you take an assessment, you will get a dot.

unknown: 24:31

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 24:32

The more you can relate to the other styles. Like my dot is right here, I D. A little higher I, a little lower D. But yeah, so the I style they can abuse their verbal skills and they can wing it and they can occasionally make up stuff. Um, so we have to be careful to tone it down.

SPEAKER_02: 24:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 24:53

But they are very friendly, they are great in customer service, sales, anyway. So they they're str each and every style has strength. Neither is better than the other. And then if you are more moderate-paced and people-oriented, then you're a steadiness style. You're a steadiness style. Steadiness style people are the nicest people on the planet, the kindest, more supportive, most loyal. You walk up to them and you say, Janine, can you please help me with yes? Another coworker comes by, oh Janine, can you please come over and see if of course. They say yes to everything, yeah, and then they get overwhelmed after a while. So in my book, I spend a whole chapter on how to say no. Because it's crucial for both the I. So these two, they get along because both are fast-paced, both are outspoken. D and I. They all have yeah, the D and I. Because they they have things in common. The I and the S, they have things in common. So they are both very um supportive and and and emotion-based, very people-oriented. So you have to understand all of these commonalities, and then the opposing will be the one where the conflict will be, but we'll get that in a second.

SPEAKER_02: 26:23

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 26:23

So the S style, you have to understand that they tend to help everybody. So, so be mindful of that and don't overwhelm them with with too many requests, and express your appreciation for them. Because they they are the most loyal when they get a job, often they stay in the job for 20, 30 years. Right. The also, they are naturally the best listeners. The D and the I, they are the worst listeners. We're great at just spewing out words, but we suck at listening. So when you understand this, then you learn to slow down and listen. The S is the best listener. And then if you are moderate-paced and task-oriented, then you are conscientiousness style. Conscientiousness style style individuals are analytical, detail-oriented, and they really love to work with concepts, numbers. Now, often because they are so detail-oriented and more task-oriented, they can come across as a little cold, right? And these are just general tendencies. I actually have met many C-style people, and this is America. So in America, you are taught to smile, smile. Yet many C-style people will not. And uh I and the S, when somebody talks to you like straight and just ask you very pointed questions, especially if they ask you like these analytical questions, like you don't even understand the question. Like, what is the quotient of the whatever? And then they expect you to, you know, you get like a little pressure in there and scared. But I met many sea styles who are very um personable and and they smile. I have a friend who I meet regularly, she's a sky high C. Yeah, she's so kind and personable, and she said it's a learned skill. Actually, she's also this trainer, it turns out. Uh not not certified, but she did she put on this training in the past. She said because she learned about this, she learned to get out of that shell and be more smiling and more personable and listen to people's stories and laugh when somebody makes a joke. Because C styles, sometimes they will not laugh at your jokes. They're like, I'm wasting my time. So, yeah, because the adjacent styles they have lots of things in common, they get along. But the opposing styles, just think about it, if somebody is fast-paced and task-oriented, and if somebody is moderate-paced and people-oriented, they have zero things in common.

SPEAKER_00: 29:14

So the DNA, they they typically have conflict.

SPEAKER_01: 29:22

Especially if your dot on your assessment is close to the edge, it's really hard for those people to work together if they don't understand these concepts. When they understand these concepts, then they know that the dominant style can take quick decisions and do things that the S style cannot. And the dominant style knows that the S style can do things that they are not good at. At caring, at being empathetic, doing better customer service, uh, doing routine work. The dominant style hates routine work. So So and then the I and uh the I and the C, again it's an instant setup because the C is very analytical, very detail oriented, uh the I style is very people oriented, emotion focused, nothing in common. So again, it's an instant setup for for tension and conflict. But when you understand these, like I'm a sky high, a little bit lower D. I need the C people in my life. And before I knew this, I was trying to avoid them. So when I hired my first team, it was a team of I DI kind of guys, talking fast, bright eyes, and after a while nothing was getting done, and everything looked like a mess. So actually, I got so upset that I fired everybody one day. Oh wow. Um, so when you don't understand these things, uh things can get better. So naturally, we tend to gravitate towards people, people like us. So if you don't understand these differences as a hiring manager, you tend to hire people just like you. That's another thing that it can happen with race and religion that you we tend to gravitate to hiring those two. But we're talking about behavioral style styles, and and that's dangerous because I go to into organizations and when we do the assessments, I also print out the group culture, uh group report, culture report, yeah. And I see in some organizations, most people are like D, or most people are C, and then they wonder why their customer service sucks. You know, there's no balance. So you need to now, if you are a science-based organization, yes, most people should be C. Unless you have salespeople, you have uh people facing customers, then yeah, those should be S S I combination. But yeah, so these are the the four main styles. And when you understand this, then uh again in my cheat sheets, I have how to motivate each, what are their strengths, what are their weaknesses, uh, what are their fears, all kinds of how to deal with them in conflict, how to avoid conflict, uh, all kinds of uh great data.

SPEAKER_00: 32:19

Wow. Man, that was a lot that you laid on us. And and I hope that our listeners were able to kind of picture it in their head as they're listening. Um, if you're on YouTube, you can see uh the the the actual video. But if you're just listening to the podcast, I I hope that you can kind of picture yourself. Am I a D? Am I an I? Am I an S or a C? And I'm gonna tell you this, man, I'm I'm an I. I took this assessment a few years ago, and I'll be interested to see, you know, if I take it again, what where it will put me. Would it put me higher I or, you know, but nevertheless, um, you know, just being aware, number one, of where you are, which one your style is, it's really important. It's all about self-awareness and it's all about understanding you first so that you can then understand how other people behave and how other people react, uh, how they communicate. Um, you know, and and and what it does is it really builds people, bring them together, right? So talk about a uh team building exercise, right? This is, I believe, the ultimate, especially when you do the training, right? This is the ultimate team building exercise, at least in my eyes. If you really, really want people to come together to learn each other and build the team, disc assessments is where it's at.

SPEAKER_01: 33:58

And and in the training, yeah. So first I break them up based on pace and and focus, people versus task, and then fast-paced, uh, task-oriented on one side, fast-based people. So I break them up in four groups, right? There are these sticky charts on the wall and they put up their strength.

SPEAKER_00: 34:16

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 34:17

And then they switch, they go around and they put dots to what they perceive as weaknesses. So what you think are your strength, you will be shocked to see that some of the other personal or behavioral styles they perceive as weaknesses, and they're like, what? But that's what you need to understand that as a dominant style, for example, you can be perceived as blunt and like a bulldozer, you know, you you bulldoze over people. So you need to tone it down a little bit and be a little bit more mindful on how you talk to people because you can come across as inconsiderate because you're so focused on results. That's their main focus. And this that's great because in emergencies you don't want them to hesitate. They anything when it happens, any emergency, the D-style right away will take charge and they will make things happen. The I style tend to be to joke too much, to talk too much, and you can come across as unserious and unreliable a little bit, right? Not unreliable, but like unserious, like too talkative, right?

SPEAKER_02: 35:23

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01: 35:23

By the way, I am 98% convinced that you're an IS combination because you are very kind and a little bit moderate pace than a high I. So I'm yeah, but yeah, so the the pure I, by the way, nobody, only about 1% of the population is pure D, I, S, or C. Most of us are a combination, like my dot is right on the edge with the DI. But most people's dot is somewhere in between, so we are a combination of two styles, some of some people three styles, even strange combinations out there. But yeah, so the I style, we have to tone it down and listen better and talk a little less, because otherwise, uh again, we can be overbearing and come across and not serious. The S style, they can come across as hesitant because they are so kind and so soft. And if you ask them to do something, they have to first think about it. But as the name says, steadiness, they like things steady, so they really have to understand why something needs to be so they come across as hesitant. But you don't have to hesitate about everything, so you can relax, you can you know, sometimes just say it, yeah, of course, or whatever, you know. And then the C style they can come across as nitpicky, as as you know, too too focused on on minutiae, right? So again, it's a strength push to the extreme, so you can kind of relax a little bit because not everything needs to be that perfect, so they can be perfectionist, also. The biggest the the single biggest uh source of conflict is our expectations because we expect everybody to behave like we do and think like we do. And when somebody is different, they're like, What? No, that's not how it is. Calm down, dude. Yeah, yeah, just discuss it, you know, don't need to lose.

SPEAKER_00: 37:27

Yeah, and I was gonna I was actually gonna ask, and you're actually answering the question. I was gonna ask, for people who have conflict, how do they really, or for people who whose their styles clash, how can leaders and employees actually navigate that and come together to find a resolution?

SPEAKER_01: 37:50

So when I understand that a snail cannot jump over a fence like a gazelle, if I'm the gazelle, I will appreciate the snail for what the snail can do, right? Maybe that was a bad comparison. But but when you understand the differences, then you understand why the other person is doing what is doing instead of getting frustrated with it. That's why that's why organizations do disk training not just once, but they do a six-month or one-year, and they repeat it every year. They repeat it each and every year, and we approach it from different angles. So we have disc workplace, this disk management, disc leadership, EQ, emotional intelligence, and if you have sales thing, we have sales uh also, but we also have conflict uh management, dealing with difficult people. I do workplace bullying as well. Uh co-authored a book on that as well. But uh but yeah, it is the expectations that is the mother of all misunderstanding. You cannot expect the S to behave like a D, like the D's would expect that, and S would expect the D to, you know, just smile and be kind. No, just understand that that's how they are wired. That's how they're wired normal. And this is how they are so each of them, it's when you understand that it's normal, then that pressure goes down, the expectation disappears.

SPEAKER_00: 39:23

So let me ask you this. As we end the episode, what is one practical way listeners can apply this in their own workplace right away, even if they haven't received any training?

SPEAKER_01: 39:39

When you go to work tomorrow, or if you're listening to this at work, as you meet your co-workers, observe. Are they more moderate-paced? Are they more fast-paced? Are they more task-oriented? Are they more people-oriented? Dale Carnegie said it a hundred years ago. I could be wrong, I don't know when he was around. To mirror people's behaviors. If somebody smiles when they talk to you, please smile. Because those of us who are people-oriented, we feel a little bit pressure when you talk to us, like especially the D style, like throwing out words, right? So mirror the pace and the facial expression. You don't have to like when they raise their hands, you raise your hand. So don't don't need to go. But just as far as pace and facial expressions go. And yeah, for us, the I and and S styles, it's a little difficult not to smile and be too kind. But when you spoke speak to the C and D style, it is better if you just, you know, hey, just adapt their facial expressions. So yeah, you you learn a little self-control, as you said, a little emotional intelligence, self-awareness. And if you want to have good relationships at work, if you're a salesperson, if you want to sell more, then you adapt, you flex. Same at home.

SPEAKER_00: 41:06

It's all about adaptability, right? It's all about it and you know, and you know what? It's it is actually about not being self-centered, right? And when you have that self-awareness, it helps you to really uh become flexible and and and and and being able to understand people even a little bit better, right?

SPEAKER_01: 41:30

So what blows my mind is that most people know that their communication skills is excellent, but everybody else doesn't know how to communicate properly.

SPEAKER_00: 41:41

Right, right.

SPEAKER_01: 41:42

Then hold on, what? So, no. When you understand these differences, then then you lower your expectations, then you will be fine.

SPEAKER_00: 41:51

You will do well. Yeah, yeah. Well, Sebastian, thank you so much. Um, this has been a really great conversation. I hope we can continue this conversation, but I want to ask for people that are listening, how can they uh take an assessment to figure out uh where they are on the scale, as well as um how can people connect to you and your work or even book you for a consultation uh maybe to get you at their workplace?

SPEAKER_01: 42:21

Uh you can send me an email to Eg at egsebastian.com. You can also look me up at communication skillsmagic.com. That's the my book, Communication Skills Magic. Uh also at EG Sebastian.com. I would love to connect with all of you listening on LinkedIn. That's just LinkedIn slash IN EG Sebastian. Easy to find me. Um, and also, I don't know if you will have it in the show notes. Uh, I will give a copy, a PDF copy of my book to everybody who wishes. You can also get it from communicationskillsmagic.com.

SPEAKER_00: 43:00

Awesome, awesome. Well, you guys make sure you look in the link description so you can get this resource today. I hope today's episode gave you some fresh insights into why people act the way they do at work and how this can actually help us bridge those differences. Remember, it's not about putting people in a box, it's about understanding yourself and others so you can work better together. Think about your team. Can you spot the D's, the I's, the S's, and even the C's? And where do you see yourself? Once you start paying attention, you'll realize you'll be amazed at how much easier it is to connect, to communicate, and as well as to collaborate. E.G. Sebastian, thank you so much again for sharing your wisdom, your knowledge, practical tips with us today. And to you listening, if you found value in today's episode, share this with a colleague or a friend or someone who can use a little more harmony at work. It's Prince Tate, and until next time, keep navigating your career with clarity and with confidence. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 44:14

Thank you.